Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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