i think my mom watched the whole time
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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