she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
