her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
