just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
