I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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