had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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