the new term for farting is butt boxing.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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