You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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