Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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