walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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