He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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