so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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