Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
