3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize