make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
