Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
