Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
