Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
