Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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