She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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