in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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