Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Randomize