i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
