If i come over, it means nothing
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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