i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
True strength comes from lack of pants
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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