i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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