Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
