I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
