I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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