Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
