Pappa wants mamma naked
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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