Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
