I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
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We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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