so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
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Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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