he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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