I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
