some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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