i just snorted my name. best moment ever
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
