Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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