OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize