i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
