people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
