My friends, they love my intelligence
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
