You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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