He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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