I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize