Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
