She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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