if i died would you start the facebook group?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
