My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
