she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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