that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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