my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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